Season of Light

Above my desk, I have framed a scrap of paper with a series of scribbled affirmations. I wrote them in a moment of utter darkness. Not literal darkness, but a low point of shame and humiliation and despair, when it felt like there was nothing but hollowed-out blackness inside me. When it felt like I did not deserve to even hope for joy, or love, or peace. I was at my lowest. I wanted to disappear from the world. So I did the only thing I could think to do: I picked up a pen, found a blank page, and […] Read More

When there’s a bear lurking behind every tree, just waiting to eat you

It was September 25, 2016, and I was alone in the woods, five hours from home, hoping not to get lost, or injured, or eaten by a bear. Or squirrels. I was experiencing a sort of dark night of the soul and the week-long camping trip was intended as a healing journey, or a good start to it. It was a way to get distance from daily life and dive completely into my emotional trauma, disconnect from it, seek clarity, recapture some lost creative spark, blah, blah, blah. And obviously, there’s no better way to do that than to go […] Read More

Punch through the tissue paper wall

I often admire other people’s ability to just make stuff — to just write, to just make music, to just create photographs, to just connect with people. And I sit back, feeling the creative potential burning like stars inside my skin, ideas playing inside my head like a troop of loud and rambunctious monkeys, and I think — and this is 100% true — “How do people just make stuff?” Only I use a different word instead of “stuff,” LET’S BE REAL. It’s like running down a path and coming up to a wall made of tissue paper. You can […] Read More